Post by Nascar Billy on Sept 28, 2013 12:16:20 GMT -5
"Take your shoes off little buddy okay?"
This little kid with big blue eyes look up at Billy wearing his superman shirt and jean shorts. (the kid not Billy) His mother is texting away with her whole focus on her phone. Without looking she says "Shoes off Timmy. Be good for Mommy." and Timmy bends down and starts to take his shoes off. Billy smiles and take the couple of bucks from his mom as Timmy climbs into the bouncy house. Billy did land a job at the fair as it wasn't too hard. He could walk and breathe, had simple math skills and had all his teeth. He was in and he got a job for the week at the fair maning the bouncy house for $4.50 a hour! This is Billy's first job ever.
3 days in Billy was starting to get bored out of his mind so he started to have fun with his job, like getting in the bouncy bounce with the kids, ignoring the 5 minute time limit and sometimes giving freebies to kids who had hot looking mothers. He even got this mother in the bouncy house once and she had a huge boobs! She almost bounced out of her top. Billy got a hug after words. But on this day, it was hot as hell out and there were no good looking MILF's around either. In other words it was a bad day at work. When it came time for his break Billy decided to take a longer break than he normally would. In the cow palace wrestling was going on and while Ric Flair wasn't going to be there Billy thought he would take in the show.
By the time Billy got down there the show was always under way. Billy sought out a single seat towards the front as a match was just underway....
A short bald middle aged man stands in middle of the ring with a mic in his hand.
"This match is set for one fall! Making his way to the ring at this time...."
Some real crappy rap music starts to play. It's some real off the wall crap that no one listens to.
"From Hollywood California, weighting in a 252 pounds, he is the legend, the myth, he is JOE SATIAGO!!!!!"
To a bunch of boos, a bunch of "You suck!" chants, a bunch of "You're a Dick" chants the very proud Joe Santiago comes out wearing rainbow super tight tights, pearl white patten leather boots and huge gold rimmed sunglasses. Everyone is giving him hell as he climbs in the ring for he is suck a asshole.
"And his opponent! From Fairbanks Alaska! Weighting in at 400 pounds! He is NANOOK!!!!"
Ice ice baby plays as Nanook comes out to cheers and high fives. Nanook climbs in the ring and is all smiles. Joe frowns is ready to fight as Nanook makes his way around the ring waving to the fans. The bell rings and Joe goes in for the attack, he gets one shot off on Nanook, from behind before jumping up on Nanook's back to lock in the sleeper hold. Nanook hooks Joe's leg and jumps backwards splashing crushing Joe under him. Joe holds his ribs as Nanook climbs off of Joe and heads towards the ropes and bounces off of them and hits Joe with his big splash finisher. Nanook hooks the leg and the ref counts 1, 2, 3! Ice Ice baby hits the PA and everyone is happy! Nanook climbs back to his feet and starts kicking Joe out of the ring like the trash he is. Nanook than asks for the mic.
"I came all the way here to put on a good fight and this guy isn't good enough to scrap old bubble gum off the bottom of my shoe! I came here to put on one hell of a match! Is there anyone here that can match me move for move and put on one hell of a match for these people!"
It was a set up for someone to come out from the back to get everyone all worked up over. Some big name no one thought would be there but without thinking Billy stands up and leans over the guard rail.
"YEAH! RIGHT HERE FAT ASS!!!!"
Everyone sitting around Billy starting patting him on the back and egging him on. Nanook smirks and looks at the kid.
"You? Out of all of these people..You? You can match me move for move?"
Billy stands there for a second with a thought of "What the hell did I just do?" He just blurted it out. He has never been in the ring. What was he doing? Nanook moves towards the side of the ring he was at and leans on the top rope.
"What's your name kid?"
"Billy!"
"Billy? I think I saw you at the bouncy house yeah?"
Billy nods his head. He's starting to get cold feet.
"Yeah I remember you! You were the guy at the bouncy house letting all the moms get in the house! Nice dude! I stood there for a while watching all those moms bouncing around having fun! Yeah I can dig that but dude! You'll never get any action wearing that retarded Tide hat!"
The smile from Billy's face goes away.
"Are you really into washing clothes that much that you would wear a Tide Hat? What the hell kid!"
"It's a Ricky Rudd hat!" Billy blurts out.
"Ricky Rudd? Who the fuck is that?"
Billy's grip on the railing tightens. "He's one hell of a NASCAR driver! Don't say anything bad about Ricky Rudd or I will get in that ring and kick your butt!"
Nanook laughs "Yeah okay kid. You know it takes no talent at all to drive in a circle! Nascar is boring as fuck! Listen, Billy, How much a toothless redneck is this Ricky Rudd!"
"He would kick your ass!"
"Yeah okay kid! Listen I'm going to start calling you NASCAR Billy! If you think you can beat me then go ahead and climb on over the railing and come on get in here so I can knock that silly hat off your head!"
Nanook even sits on the second rope and holds them open for Billy. Everyone around Billy starts to cheer him on. Billy is steamed about what Nanook said about Ricky Rudd and in all honesty it wasn't that bad to begin with but all you have to do is say one thing about Nascar and Billy wants to fight.
"Come on Sally...I mean Billy.....I mean NASCAR Billy! Reach down, take a hold of your nuts and let's go! And bring that silly hat too! I have to take a dump soon and I need something to wipe with!"
And like that Billy climbed over that railing and sprinted towards the ring and slide in under the bottom rope.........
FTB.
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