Post by John Pariah on Dec 20, 2013 22:18:51 GMT -5
[We open in a small funeral home-where a black casket sits against the wall. There are no flowers, there are no pictures, just a small Jokers Wild logo that looks like it was drawn by a five year old- presumably Pariah’s five year old- scotch taped onto the front of the casket. Theres a small podium in front of the casket, as the camera turns around and we see Ryan Kidd and Shawn Alexander Cage walk into the room and take seats. They are followed by Jason Parker Olesen-the former Owner of Pro Wrestling X, and brother of John Pariah. He is followed by James Silkk, a former World Champion-and half brother to John Pariah. Behind him walks Lillith Morgan-the on again off again wife of one John Pariah. They all take their seats as he walks in behind them, slinging the Legacy Title over his shoulder. He smiles as he hangs his sunglasses from his shirt pocket. He walks up to the casket-immediatly looking at the crayon drawn logo. He turns to Lillith.]
JP: Why did she use pink?
Lillith: You asked a five year old girl to draw something. Their color palette is rather limited….
JP: That also explains the stink lines and smiling sun….
[He smirks as the group chuckles. He turns to the podium, and sets the Legacy Championship on the casket.]
JP: Dearly beloved, I’ll be brief. Seriously, I only rented this hall for a half hour-after that its old folks bingo!
Ryan Kidd: I bet Drew will show up for that.
JP: Now now…let’s not make jokes Ryan. We’re here to mourn the impending loss of The Jokers Wild. You see, in a little under forty eight hours-the Jokers Wild will enter Canadian X Pro with the roar of a lion, and whimper out of the company with the ferocity of a titmouse. You see, Scotty Addams will be having his throat rearranged by our good friend Mr. Bradley Jackson-while I’m busy with the devil himself.
Shawn Cage: Isn’t that giving him waaayyy to much credit?
JP: Now I don’t want to discredit my opponent….he’s…well he’s done stuff. He’s seemingly won titles in every promotion with a combination of the letters R, P and W in them-and he’s apparently had so many matches that his body resembles that of a geriatric patient. But his mind….well..okay, his mind is that same geriatric ward-because evidently the Jokers Wild doesn’t watch a single tape. That’s the problem with kids today, right Ryan?
Ryan Kidd: Hey!
JP: I’m kidding….see what I did there?
[The group chuckles as Pariah sighs-looking at his title belt, and grabbing it off of the casket.]
JP: These people obviously have no single idea who the hell they’re messing with. They obviously have absolutely no idea just who they are going up against-because they couldn’t be assed to watch a single tape of any of us! It’s sickening me that these people get so much attention-when they’re nothing but a bunch of little prima donnas. It’s EXACTLY what’s wrong with this business-and I for one can not wait to drop Drew Stevenson with my elbow, and take his fucking head off!
[Applause breaks out as James Silkk stands up-and John Pariah walks from the podium. James takes his spot.]
Silkk: She did a really nice job with this Lil….
[They chuckle again.]
Silkk: To quote the great Samuel L. Jackson….’get these mother fucking sports entertainers, out of my mother fucking wrestling ring! AVENGERS! ASSEMBLE!” he said that right?
JPO: Verbatim James, verbatim…
Silkk: Exactly. See, we’ve all seen these douchebags 1000 times before. They think they’re some type of untouchable celebrity-so uncaring that they send their worthless manager to do their talking for them. I mean he called John Pariah a fraud? Trust me, my brother is a lot of things. He’s an asshole, he’s a vicious fighter, he’s a fraud, he’s a manipulator-but he is NOT a porn star!
Lillith: Umm..what?
Silkk: I’m joking. Ryan, you’ve stood that ring from him. Shawn, you’ve stood across the ring from him. Does the word ‘fraud’ even come to mind?
Shawn Cage: Not at all.
Ryan Kidd: Nope.
Silkk: But these people-and I use the term loosely-they don’t know that. This Robertson guy wants to call the Best of the Best a fraud, maybe once his little meal ticket is unconscious in the middle of the ring-maybe than he’ll shut his fat face and see the light.
JPO: Amen brother…
[JPO stands up and applaudes, taking James’ spot at the podium.]
JPO: The other day, John made a challenge to Drew Stevenson-to leave the Jokers Wild in the ringside. I doubt he’ll concede to that-and I’m sure he’ll bring his boyfriends along with him. That’s why we’ll be there, united as one. Ryan, Shawn-you have our invitation to join us. We have all made an investment in CXP, and we want to see a return on it? Am I right?
All: HERE HERE!
JPO: So on December 22nd…we will stand together…we will rise up-and we will crush the Jokers Wild….
John Pariah: Trust me when I say this….as Legacy Champion, I have a certain honor to uphold in CXP. I’m not focusing on anything else than this. On Sunday Night, I will walk out of Ottawa with my title intact, and Drew Stevenson’s blood on my elbow. We are the First Family………
[Pariah pauses, he looks out the window and smiles.]
John Pariah: No….we are The Court…..and even Jokers have to face the Court…..
[He smirks…as JPO and James nod in agreeance. Lillith again looks worried-but shakes it off and stands up.]
John Pariah: And you’re all personally invited to not only my massacre of Drew Stevenson-but my ascension as the FACE of Canadian X Pro. Mr. Robertson-you can send THAT message to your client. A lamb to the slaughter, no my friend….the Jokers Wild will be buried at the Canadian Christmas Classic. Your fate…is mine to decide…good luck.
[He smirks and pats the belt as we fade out]
