Wrong With Me(Pt1): #HealMeOrKillMe

Pacing back and forth under a low hanging light bulb is a half face painted Mr. Rottentreats. After a quick glance into his eyes you can tell his mind is running in several directions. The tear tracks on his face and drops of white face paint on his AbominationZ hockey Jersey indicate that he's been shedding tears for quite some time now. He wipes his painted cheek preventing more tears from falling, and smudging his paint. With a sniff he reaches up and grabs the dangling light bulb and points it toward his face. With his best fake smile he allows an unusual hoarseness to escape his lips.

"Yoooo! Pat Gordon Jr., MY NINJA! Muthafacko you've been tearing it up all year! Well guess what?! Canadian X Pro, Canadian Tour tournament. You and I are going one on one; in the Main event of the very first show. Live from the Halifax Metro Centre. I know this is about the oppurtunity to become the first Canadian X Pro champion, but for me... It goes a little deeper than that. I'm in so much pain right now; my soul is hurting! Ya know what I'm sayin'? I've pretty much shut out the rest of the world; aside from twitter. Honestly, I almost forgot about this match."

The not so cheerful clown holds up two popsicle sticks. On these popsicle sticks are Mr. Rottentreats and Pat Gordon Jr. respectively.

"Don't get to assuming that I'm not excited.. FUCK! Pat Gordon Jr. vs. Mr. Rottentreats, The Boston Bruiser vs. The WHOLE FUCKIN' sssiiideSHOW! Who's NOT excited?"

He closes the distance between the puppets mimicking a stare down between the two; grring under his breathe. Suddenly, "Pat Gordon Jr." head butts "Mr. Rottentreats"; he tosses the make shift puppets into the air.

"B-b-but, you see, normally when I step through those ropes.. No matter what's on my mind, or what's bothering me; no matter how heavy the weight on my CHEST!"

More tears stream down his painted and unpainted cheeks.

"It goes away.. Well, it used to."

He sniffles as he wipes the tears away, yet again smearing his paint.

"I was hoping for that very cathartic moment with Leon Stone at Sideshow Spectacle. I was really looking forward to it when I traveled to FRONTIER; but it didn't go down like that!"

Treats swats the dangling light bulb away and it sways to and fro. He pounds on his chest then spreads his arms out wide in a "come at me bro" stance.

"Why do you think I opened myself up for lizard boy, and lost? I'm not bitching about a loss though, it's o.k. Sometimes, it's not about winning, it's about healing."

Mr. Rottentreats' eyes begin to bounce in every direction as they follow the swinging light bulb. The dim bulb slowly settles right above Treats' head. Almost immediately he begins sobbing uncontrollably and drops to his knees; once again pounding his chest and spreading his arms out wide.

"Patrick, I'm d-d-DOWN on my knees and I'm b-b-BEGGING YOU to HEAL ME! It's heal me, or kill me, Pat! I don't wanna walk out. I want to be carried away in a body bag!"

Treats closes his eyes and crosses his arms over his chest; signaling that he's more than willing to be laid to rest. He inhales a deep breath as more tears force their way through his closed eyelids.

"Ya see, I deserve the same hapless fate as my trainers; Derrick and Devin Daniels. Why would I say this? Plain and simple, it's my fault. It's ALL MY FAULT! If I would have pulled the trig.."

His right hand darts up to his cover his mouth; not allowing the next syllable to escape his lips.

"Sorry, that's a poor choice of words.. If I would have revealed myself sooner, none of this would have happened. w-w-WARPED would still be thriving! I wouldn't be traveling around the world in search of a healer. I would be traveling with my trainers, kicking ass and taking names."

Incoherent with grief, he mumbles a list of pro wrestlers that he would love to get his hands on.

"B-b-but that's not the case is it? I now kneel before you as a lost and lowly kid, screaming for help. Sadly, no one is listening. DON'T YOU GET IT! Angelo Valour do you not get it?! I'm not the man you want to have on your show."

A Canadian X Pro logo flashes across the screen. When it returns to Mr. Rottentreats, he's standing up; yet again wiping his face clean of the tears.

"I DON'T give a shit anymore.. I'm not saying I won't be there. After all, I've got bills to pay. And as great an honor as it would be to be crowned the first Canadian X Pro Champion; that doesn't matter to me. Ya see, here lately, as much as I don't want to be.. I've proven to everyone that I AM indestructible! And as I've mentioned before. Leon Stone couldn't do it; notwithachain, notwithachair! The Asylum failed in their feeble murderous attempt. Mike Hopkins didn't even come close, with his limp lizard kicks."

High speed(64x) video of Leon Stone bashing Treats' head in with a chair transitions into the post Sideshow Spectacle explosion that sent him flipping in the air. The montage begins to slow down as Mike Hopkins kicks the hell out of Treats. The final frame is a still image of Pat Gordon Jr.

"So, now it's up to you, Boston Bruiser! The son of the legendary Pat Gordon! I'm not going to stand here and tell you that you didn't earn your current status in this business. I'm not going to rant and rave that everything has been handed to you. And nah, I'm not about to stand here and kiss your ass, it's a respect thing. Trust me when I say, I know the difference between respect, and kissing ass. And there are a lot of people in this business that have zero respect for anyone; but they sure don't mind kissing ass."

Fade back into Mr. Rottentreats puckering his lips. With another sniffle he continues.

"I've been at this for more than a few years."

Treats holds his fists up under the light showing his tattooed knuckles. His right reading DGAF and his left reading LLAL. One finger at a time his fists unfold holding up 7 fingers; his thumbs still folded inward.

"And it's always the same 'ol shit. I talk shit, my opponent talks shit.. The match happens, crowd goes wild, babies fly in the air, and get stuck in the rafters.. It used to be fun.. It's not fun anymore, Pat. You know why? Because I have two huge chunks missing from my heart."

An exasperated sigh escapes his lips as an image of Derrick and Devin Daniels flashes across the screen.

"I'm s-s-sorry, I'll see you on the 5th. I can't do this.. And please remember.. Heal me, or kill me, pat; heal me, or kill me"

The video fades into a poster for the first Canadian X Pro show. Underneath the images of Pat Gordon Jr. and Mr. Rottentreats is text that reads; The match you do NOT want to miss! A throat is cleared followed by a carnival barker voice.

"What will become of our favorite self-loathing clown? Will Pat Gordon Jr. Heal or Kill? I personally hope it's the latter! Get your ass to the Halifax Metro Centre on Monday Night to find out! This match is sure to be one for the history books; as Pat Gordon Jr. and Mr. Rottentreats go one on one for the first time ever! The winner shall advance in the Canadian Tour Tournament for a chance to become the FIRST ever Canadian X Pro champion! It's about to go down! Monday at the Halifax Expo Centreeee!"

Fade out.

Sorry about your loss(es), but damn Ninja, why you goin' all emo like Twiztid and PKA?! What happened to the wicked shit! I hope Pat Gordon Jr. beats your ass for being such a pansy ass bitch! Maybe you should take your own disclaimer to heart and stop being such a bitch boy..

NoScoNinja 45 Minutes Ago
Yo, Treats! I saw those dank deals you posted on twitter for your afternoon show in Philly. Will we get the same deal Monday @canadianxpro?